December Oy Vay

It is December. Where has the time gone and why haven't I posted? I can't answer those questions without reflecting on what I have accomplished in the past few weeks...

We drove to Dawn Renee's for thanksgiving. I was expecting a quiet relaxing week....never expect. I cooked a turkey, a ham, mashed taters, green beans, sweet potatoes, a pie, stuffing gravy. I hope I did not miss anything. She had to work. I am not going to comment on the state of disrepair her house was in. Never mind that she had no place for all of us to sleep. We ended up in the motor home in her yard. At least we had a clean bed and bathroom.

The kitchen is done except for the little things to put in place. We also have to paint the yellow on the walls as well as put some more primer up before painting. No big deal just time consuming.

The kids are visiting with their mother tomorrow. THey are not aware of this trip. I am holding off telling them until Amber pulls up into the driveway if I can. It has been a tough week for them. Allie has been having more trouble with boundaries. They were both caught taking candy after bedtime without asking.

They went on their first field trip today. Zeth had his first official ride in a school bus. He told me: "It did not meet my expectations". He further explained there were no seat belts and the driver had one. He said he was not safe and everyone needs a belt.

Allie just lost it after school. I don't know if it is one of her ups and downs but she had a fit in the back seat telling me she always gets in trouble in the car. i told her she was not in trouble she just needs to understand you do not hide your head in the lap of anyone else (esp a boy).

We will continue our boundaries and appropriate touching conversations and explainations for quite a while.

Don and I both had birthdays. Don of course had the big 60. No one called to say happy birthday. it was depressing for him. I felt really bad but could not guilt his family (sisters) into calling. If is like the world revolves around only them.

I want to post pictures of the kitchen remodel--the beginning to the end. Before I do that I want to put them in some kind of order so the sequence makes sense and is not weird.

I know it has been weeks since I have typed anything. I had this crap shoot of a virus (?) if that is what you want to call it. While I was dying in bed, I still had to get kids to school, cook dinner, feed dogs cats and fish. It never ends. But it was a good thing the illness hit when it was a weekend. I slept ALL day Saturday while Don dealt with the kids and animals. I have never in my life felt like such ca-ca. I did not really move until Sunday mid-day and at that point it was to make sure everyone was eating and to change pj's from sweaty to cool. The virus stuck with me for almost 2 weeks. Zeth of course could not be left out. He has a virus of sorts as well. He was throwing up almost daily. Some of it was psychosomatic but some was actual illness.

I can say: WE HAVE CABINETS! the cabinets were installed almost a week early. OF course this was during my "I'm dying" faze, but we have actual cabinets installed. The counter top is going in on Tuesday at 1100 hours. Let us cross out fingers that it goes off without a hitch. As it is, I was calling Amber at the counter top place, and she called me first to tell me the sink has a crack. We had to go back to the beginning of reordering a new sink. Of course, if they have to come out again, then Lowe's will be billed for the second visit. I don't care. i just want a sink in my kitchen. I don't know what is worse, no power or no kitchen sink. That is still up for debate.

I missed the best photo op! Allie was going to run away. She had on an outfit with her Halloween costume over it holding all of her clothes on hangers while wearing flip flops. She looked ridiculous. This was followed by last night's Emergency from the bathroom. First thing I did was grab the camera. I went into the bathroom and there was Alicia, stuck in the toilet. Her head touching her knees. I of course took a few pictures then I helped her out.

Zeth is continuing to have touching issues. Of course the things he touches are not his of course! He also has difficulty making it to the bathroom. He has has soooo many accidents in the past few weeks it is not worth counting. He even had an accident at school and smelled beyond reality. Some of this is due to his fear of being on a bad color at school. The ticket system is kicking him in the butt.

Workers in the house

Workers are in the house. Whooh whooh! We have cabinets going in. But first the electrical issues. The work that the electricians had to do was absolutely amazing. Not only fix this mess, but a fuss box and keep it real. It took them most of the day to complete the work they were doing. Having no power was not fun, bu tit was worth it!

This is a great photo of the wall where the sink was and soon a new one will be. It is amazing the mess that was created when they did the original work. It was like they did not pay attention to what they were doing. The work was done by "do it yourselfers" who really had no idea what they were doing or it was done the Alabama way. Take your pick.

This is what it looked like before we took the cabinetry and sink off the wall.

the ceiling is amazing and looks like there was never a soffet or seam. Clark Drywall rock!
Back to the business at hand. It has been an interesting week here. The cabinets are going in a head of schedule by a week. The gas line should (better) be in or I call someone else immediately. I have been doing laundry since 545 this morning. Thanks to Zeth and his peeing accidents 2-in one night! Threw him in the shower before school and had him dressed and ready to go. Of course it would be too easy. He and Alicia of course had to have a fight and then both were sent to thier rooms. The joys of am disagreements.

Boys Will Be Boys

Of course we had to have an accident. Boys will be boys. Zeth is bouncing on Don. Don of course is being a boy and pushing back. They hit and Zeth's nose is in the way. We now have a bloody nose in need of ice and packing. Don is being Don. Zeth is whinning-can't blame him. His nose is bleeding. Got the towel and the ice. What a way to end an uneventful day.

The ceiling has been begun! Yeah!!! Sold more cookie dough. I am cookied out. This was the end of the selling. I am going to send it in on Tuesday (maybe MOnday). THen it will just be waiting for the cookie dough to come in. They have earned a trip to the park as well as a movie, popcorn and ducks. I don't get it-if they want to bribe kids how bout no homework?

Kitchen disaster

I made many phone calls in the past few days to get a guy company or anyone who can work on cielings. It took all my energy and gumption to make one more phone call. Well I did it. I called the number on the computer generated search. I of course get the one person who is "retired". He can "pick and choose" his jobs. He came out last night. AND he is going to do the kitchen!!! WHoop WHoop!....well that means that we had to tear down the rest of the kitchen ca-ca-the sofet above the sink and move everything out of the way. He will be sealing, painting and blowing the ceiling. I can say persistence works but it is also a pain in the ass!!!

No problems getting anyone to school yesterday morning (Wed). Now I just have to convince the Zeth that if people do not want to buy the cookie dough I can't make them. It is not my fault. He is repeating what the school is telling him and he can't get beyond that. It is tough to make him understand, but I am repeating the same thing over and over. FRUSTRATING but it is working. I hope.

Empty Kitchen

I can't believe how BIG the kitchen is without cabinets and counter tops! It is totally amazing. Currently there is a sink and dishwasher. Otherwise the kitchen is empty. Don removed the stove hood, cook top and cabinets with counter top to the edge of the dishwasher. We did have some fun finds. Three wood "bricks", the bedding the mice used and a wonderful hole in the floor. I think the hole leads to the crawl space. I will post some pictures of the amazing kitchen in my next post. I want to make sure I have good shots that show the interesting aspects.

I picked up primer for the walls, that is my next deal. I have to get that started tomorrow. I figure I can do that while the electricians are here. I won't have power. Nope change that can't paint don't have drop cloth! Dang! No time to pick one up before the electrician shows up. The plumber is also coming to look at the space and distance for the gas line. Hope he can do it while he is here. I did not realize that not having a stove would be so hard. No hot water for tea, no soup no cooking pasta. OK I do have a microwave but it is not the same.

The weekend is over. WOW! Nothing dramatic or drastic with the kids. This is a week of appointments though: Monday electrician and plumber ; meeting with Alicia's teacher in the pm; Tues. the rest of the cabinets and the crew from Lowes to check in cabinets Wed. appointment at the bone and joint clinic I don't know if it is a good thing that this can be sleeping funny but I don't know. This is how it originally began. Dad told me to let Dr. Hovater know if he needs full history that dad would call and give it to him. I don't think Dr. Hovater would believe the entire history. Sometimes I don't believe it.

Guidance~ I need some!

Of all the things for a professional to do. The guidance counselor at the shcool took it upon herself to ask Allie if she was happy where she was living. She over heard part of a conversation and took it literally and felt the need to speak with Allie.

While speaking with Allie at another moment in time, she was asked what she know s about sex. Yup asking an 8 year old about sex. Not just any 8 year old, one that has been in foster care for most of her life and has observed her mother's inappropriate behavior. Yup just ask away. Let me handle to fall out!! nightmares, night time accidents, talking and walking in our sleep. Oh yeah the joys of those who think they are helping. But it is never so!

I don't know if it is because I am on the other side of the fence now.I am no longer the hteacher, I am the parent. That is the hard part. As Don said the other day, they are like our kids and we treat them as such.

Construction - Contractor I be~not

I will not be a contractor in any of my future lives. Between coordinating, calling, general living, disagreements, estimates...it never ends. The vinyl we decided on originally is out the window. We has an estimate - over $3,000. When they called to confirm our using the flooring I of course said we found something else. Then they call back and take almost $1,000 off the price. How can they take that much money off when they were unable to do that previously. We ended up finding tile at Home Depot that we like better and it will work out to be more cost effective. The tile will go down after the cabinets are in and to be more cost effective- Don will do the tile work.

Electricians - SES electrical- the best guy to work with Trent. He came out and looked, gave a general estimate. THEN he came back out (good thing Don was home) and went with Don to look at everything. Together they took out a bush in the back and looked at the "junk"tion box in the back of the house. Trent was very good about telling what was wrong/right and how it was to be fixed. He was reasonable and honest. I feel like Angie('s list) giving all this free advice.

Plumber is Lane Hoyt. The owner came out to look at our gas line and he to gave it straight. He said there are two ways to do it but the best way is this and explained in detail what would need to be done. It was amazing how a little gas line can be so hard. He also told us the upfront cost - $75 per hour plus materials. That is not a whole lot for what we need to do with the gas line. They have also done other work for use. Hoyt also reworked out septic lines and unclogged all the toilets leading into the holding take. They are also going to hook up the new sink and dish washer when the work is completed.

I am having more trouble finding someone to do the ceiling work. I hate popcorn ceilings, but it will be easier to fix what is broken and fix the center strip. I am at the point of just pain it white-it is hidden by the cabinets. but that would not be the right thing to do. It will not be complete if the ceiling is done incompletely or not at all.

Pictures....Maybe

This is a family portrait. Ain't it cute?

Can you tell which pumpkin Zeth decorated? Alicia decorated?

I have tried to up load pictures many times and the blogger will not allow me to save to publish the post with pictures so I am going to try again. If I am unable to save then I give up with pictures.

OK so it worked and won't let me move it so I can write above it.

It is the weekend. Zeth's fingertips are not going to have finger prints. He is slowly nibbling/eating his fingers. The tips are raw and red. He will sit and chew on the tip and then pull the skin off when he is worried/nervous/scared anytime he is under stress.

Alicia is at the point where she does not listen to anything someone says to her. She will look as if she is is listening, but has no idea what you said. Her level of respect and responsibility sucks. I took this p

icture at the playground. She was on the uneven bars hanging upside down. I had to take it-looks like she is being electrocuted.

I don't like how the pictures look on the side with the words next to it. It does not let you return or go down until you have filled the area in with text. I just don't like it.

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On a different subject-WIth all the construction work going on in the hosue I have decided that I will never be a general contractor.

Holy Guacamole!

Kitchen Kitchen Kitchen

I hate being a general contractor. Coordinating everything is not all that it is cracked up to be. Now we are having the floor redone. Soo everything literally has to be out of the kitchen! Not just the cabinets removed- but all the furniture, fridge, and other free standing things. Yup totally empty. Nice birthday present though. We picked a nice faux wood vinyl.

Zeth survived roller skating on Saturday. We had Sam and Sarah over and it all worked out very well. Zeth was upset when they had to go home which was going to be expected.

Had to take care of a few things. but I am back at the blogging. Picked up kids from school met with electrician, checked mail, cooked dinner-tacos. Ya know the family stuff.

Zeth made it through his birthday. Allie is still working on responsibility. She does not realize her Mp3 player is mia. Don has it in the office because he found it outside in the middle of the yard. For her to just leave it shows she is not ready for the responsibility of owning something that has value. It is just expected to give to her. I blame that on the system. She does not need anything. To her it is expected from the previous years-she is receiving all types of things with no concept of money or having to take care of them. That is a big soap box for me. THe system has many flaws and this is a big one. THese kids are conditioned to expect things to be given to them and to continue to live in a throw away society. If it breaks, throw it out, someone will give you a new one.

Time Flies

I can't believe I have not posted in almost 2 weeks. WOW! Today is Zeth's birthday and we are already going to have a melt down. He expect skating after school and does not understand that it will be on Saturday. The hard concept of a birthday party for him. I am sending cookies to share with classmates. He still does not understand that skating needs to wait until the weekend. I figure there will be meltdowns through out the day, but he will survive. this is the first time he is actually having a birthday celebration on/near his birthday.

Alicia is managing. She has not been a cat for almost a month. That changed yesterday. I had a cat wandering after me. Boy, what a trial not to step or trip on her. The animals move or can be moved easily. She just waits to figure out what is going to happen.

We have begun to take apart the kitchen. The cabinets are coming down. It makes it look sooo different in there. I will post some pictures of the progress. We have found some interesting things. The shelves are good wood, the end cabinets are ply wood. I have saved some of the knobs for the bathroom remodel. In fact, I am going to put them in the bathroom cabinet to get them out of the way. The bathroom is the last thing on the list. Right now we need to get everything out of the kitchen so the stove can be brought in and hooked up. We also are going to purchase the stove/micro combination in time. The double oven still works for the moment. The bottom cabinets needs to be taken out too. Currently we have no place to wood. That is next.

Autumn weather

The weather has begun to change. It really does not get a chance to cool off slowly here. I have found that it goes from the triple digits to the chilling 50's and 60's overnight. Today it did get warmer than 70 but it started at a chilly 52 degrees. The leaves have begun to change and the chll is in the air. Loving it!

Xzavier and Makiya are with their foster mother Beatrice Harvey. I hope (fingers crossed). I am not going to do respit care again. Or at least for a very looooong time. It was very hard for Alicia and Zeth. both have been a pistol all week. Zeth has hit his rock bottom in the morning the past 2 days. beginning with hiding under his bed and refusing to get dressed. This is followed by screaming aobut hunger and food. The need to be fed. He knows to eat at school and not home. He kicked screamed and was an all out mess. Alicia had her homework meltdowns all week and could not handle the baby's crying or noise in general.

I know that I can't put them in respit care. It would totally kill them and put them backwards many steps. I would end up with kids that were worse than they are now. Not only messed up but behaviors would be more out of control.

Ten Years

9-11-11 Ten years ago I remember what I was doing. I remember where I was. I remember the feeling of loss and urgency. I remember Do you? I was working at Child andd Family Services in Middletown RI at the time I was attending a meeting of supervisors and everything came to a halt when the news was broken at the meeting. Everything stopped. My cousin (Audrey) lost her husband when the first tower was hit. He was on the plane. They had just adopted a little boy. I remember having to tell my staff at the child care center. The emotions and terror they felt and the feelings I had to hold in while speaking to them so as not to scare the children in the classrooms.

http://http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfWa9gI-Bks&feature=player_embedded

This is a video of one of the memories. It speaks volumes.

The children came today. They came with a really short letter of interest from carol. I have no idea of allergies. No idea of routines and no idea that the little one is asthmatic and taking a decongestant. THis I did not know unitl I looked in her bag. She is also toilet training. That would have been nice to know!! Carol is done in this house I figured giving one more chance would be a nice thing to do. But never again.

Today is your birthday!

Today was Alicia's birthday. It was a long a trying day for Zeth. He just could not accept that he was not getting gifts or going to the mall. He spent the day with Don. They were to lunch and a car show. I have no idea what else, but Zeth needs "boy" time.

Allie and I went to the mall. That was an excursion. We shopped and shopped and shopped. Of course before going anywhere we had to put music on the new mp3 player. She was sooo excited to have that. She sang at the top of her lungs while walking around. she was happy with her gifts and loved her cake. I could have gotten away with baking one myself for the amount of cake that was eaten in our house today. We have left over cake int he freezer and set aside for school snacks.

She was able to pick out a few things she "couldn't" live without while wandering the mall. I did make some specific statements of NO. But we had a mild meltdown and moved on to another place. She also has a short term memory and forgets about things that she has purchased. There will be no more money spent until Christmas. she does not need anything. Neither does Zeth.

I picked out a sink at lowes. And of course it is discontinued. I had to find another one. I did and it cost the same amount as our stove! That was just scary. I hope to get a military discount on the stove. I received one on the sink. I will try when I purchase that. Grandma's money did a lot for us. We were able to do both cabinets and counters for the kitchen, new bathroom sink and vanity, various gallons of paint, a play set for the yard, a new PC for myself and picking up a few things here and there without worrying about money. It is now dwindling down to a few thousand dollars. Without it though, we still would not have a kitchen or play set.

I can't believe how much we have accomplished in a short time or with a little bit of money.

Carol is dropping off two children tomorrow for the week. They both go to school programs. The girl is 2 and her brother is 4. He goes to head start and she goes to little tigers. I have a few words to say to them, but it will wait until later in the week. Don't want to upset the apple cart before it is necessary. Zeth is sooo unprepared for Kindergarten and I put blame on the prek program and also on his foster situation. If he had a family that could see that struggling was happening and take a moment to work with him even 5 minutes a day, he would be better off in school. He does not recognize any letters, numbers, no 1:1 correspondence, no idea of color, letter sounds or basic understanding of following directions.

THE Playset

The kids are finally playing ont he jungle gym! We had the safety talk and of course I had to repeat myself a number of times already, but htey were able to play just the same. It is great to see them using the see saw horse together. Actually working otgether and not fighting aobut who does what or how. I still need to remove the poop. Tomorrow is going to be poop patrol so the walk to the swing set is mine free. I will post pictures of the swing set and the rest of the yard when I put batteries in the camera.

I have officially ordered our kitchen cabinets. I am waiting for kraftmaid to call and confirm the order before ordering the counter tops.

Saturday day of rest?

Where has the week gone! Last night we attempted to go to First Friday in Florence. We found it was not worth going last night. Not all vendors/booths were set up. the kids were highly fidgety and hungry. Don was in a mood of grump. We ended up just going to dinner in MS and then heading home. By then it was pj, snack and bed time for the kids.

Zeth has a scored test on letter sounds and identification. He can give 6 sounds and ZERO letter IDs. That is lower than I thought. I figure lots of games, songs with sound and finding letters in books. He missed sooo much being moved so often and at a young age. When we read a book last night, I had him find some letters, he is pulling a fast one on his teacher. He can identify 3 letters without help and he has to start working on the letters in his name. This has to happen all before the winter break. Do I have my work cut out for me. I will find ways to make it fun. Even if it means biting my tongue lots of times and throwing Alicia out of the room and having separate time for each of them.

Alicia still has not brought home a spelling test. i am curious to see how she did with the extra studying we are doing. I know she is having a difficult time at a new school. I also know she is mothering her classmates. It is in the way she speaks to them. she is offering things to make them her friend. I can't believe next week is her birthday. She is going to be 8 years old and the majority of her life has been in foster care away from her mother and youngest sibling (sister).

Heading to Lowes' to make payment on the kitchen and get that begun. I have begun to pack up the kitchen. The desk is almost done jus tthings on the top of hte desk, the cabinets are almost empty. I have not taken out the cereal of the cabinet yet. That is going to wait until a few days before the kitchen arrives. I have to plan out my packing before I start to do it. I know if I put in in writing it will be easier when it is time to pack everything. It is harder because I am not moving things to a new home just putting them a way for a few weeks. that is the hard part of the whole packing thing.

* all baking/spices will be in the same box

*dishes *serving pieces *paper products

*cleaning supplies-easy to get to so cleaning can occur

*glassware *appliances

I know there are other things that are not on the list, but I will figure that out as i come across them. I make seem so easy, but it is not going to be very easy at all. I can get rid of a lot of things we don't use and update our spices and baking supplies. :)

Today is a baby shower for Christy's daughter in law. It is out in the boon docks-locals know where everything is. I am not a local and finding this church has taken almost as much time as it will to reach it. It is about an hour from here! Miles only about 30-gotta love county roads.

I need to get ready to go to lowes and meet with craig. We are stil waiting for the swing set installer to come to the house. I hope he has enough brains to call if he gets lost. I also hope he is here with in the next 45 minutes before I go to Lowes.

Space the final frontier

Alicia is learning about space. That has been the tag line since she started talking about what she is learning. She does not get it, but it is funny. She just shrugs and moves on with her discussion. Oh those who do not have the chance to watch the original star trek....I do feel for them.

Backing up a few days. Went to court and the ISP that followed for Brianna/Alica/Zeth. I met with Granny (Brianna's grandmother), her case worker at rehab, Amber and of course Brianna. She did not make it to court because they were lost but did get to DHR in pretty good time. We discussed her current treatment. She has a plan in place, I did not hear a lot about the kids in this plan. Amber sensed that as well. Amber asked about the future and where the kids fit in. She stressed that she cannot and will not give them to Brianna and then easily take them back. She continued to stress that they are not the same children that went from Dianna's house back to their mom and then went to Christy. They were broken while with her and it is unknown if they will fully recover. Brinna asked me how I deal with the problems. I of course listed all the issues that the kids are having from speech, to head banging, to tantrums and homework trouble are the easy ones. I did not go into great detail about the daily arguments and annoyances. I made sure she understood that it is not easy and everyday brings a different set of problems to just "roll with".

Brianna expressed that she had trouble just going with the flow. She does not change gears with ease and is fearful of change and blows everything out of proportion. Brianna also expressed that she is not going to be able to move back to the Russellville because she will be int he same situation she left. That is not healthy.

We are having Alicia drama at the moment. She is upset over basically nothing, Zeth is petting Harley and she is having her daily meltdown. She has taken it a step further and is hurting herself by pulling on her face and hitting her self in the head. She gets so frustrated and has a difficult time calming down and also listening to others.

Zeth is spitting in the car-oh joy. He is now screaming that it is only on his hands and then he is just touching the car. There is no spitting in this house or any car ever. He growled at me.

i know they are doing their best to keep it together at school. Alicia just assumes that I will take her side and fix the problem. She expects me to walk into her room and fix it with her now. She is either blaming Zeth or not taking any responsibility for what is going on. She is easily frustrated and does not want to hear anything that does not work with her scheme.

Hurricanes....I miss 'em

Believe it or not I actually miss hurricanes/ I know they come with power outages, rain, wind, damage, flooding and all the havoc of weather. But I really miss them. I am tires of heat, humidity and thunder. My parents now have power. Everyone in VA that I know has something out-whether it is power, water or cable/internet. It will be a matter of time to fix and repair. I know that and am pacient in waiting to get a hold of everyone.

I went on the Marshall web site yesterday to see if there was anything posted about the weather. I was in for a shock! Marshall is no longer and elemetary it is now a ECC and Lori is still principal. In a sense she "lost" her school. That is a slap in the face to a principal. Ad I stand by-what goes around comes around.

Short post-need to discuss the ISP outcome from Brianna and what occurred in court today. Don was at work and unaware of what occured and was discussed in the meeting.

The Drama Llama Came Visiting

A day full of drama. The drama began even before the kids were dressed and ready for school. It began (carried over) from last night. Alicia was upset because Zeth received a compliment and she did not. He needs the positive regarding his clothes and appearance more than she and she was not handsome or even in a very cute outfit. She complained that she could not clean her room before school. When we got to school she complained that I did not give her a good enough hug. The drama!

Well, while they were at school, I removed everything from Alicia's room. No more toys, books, dolls, puzzles, etc. Maybe this will help her to realize that lying is not something that should be done at any time. She has to learn somehow and nothing has worked so far. Maybe not having anything in her room to entertain her will help. She is also not allowed to go outside without adult supervision. Someone has to be with her until we can trust her again. That my not be until she is in high school. It took her over 4 hours to realize that everything was removed from her room. She comes to me with tears and states: "that was not fair" I gave it right back with when you lied to me and Don, you were not fair. The tears were not something that she was feeling, they were faked and done with her pro ability. Within 2 minutes, the tears were gone and she was playing with Zeth.

Zeth has no clue what is going on. I have a meeting for his IEP tomorrow afternoon. I am looking for ward to it in one sense-speech services and in another I don't want him "labeled" but if he is in need of special services, then he needs to receive them.

We had our kitchen measured for the install. It has begun! I can't wait unitl I see the final work up and (Teeth clench) pay lots of money for it to begin. That is what I have been waiting for for so long, I think I am fearful of it not begin all that we want.

Pop a Squat

yup, I have to start off with a Yankee term. I don't know where it originated from, but it is the one thing that works well here today. Don caught the kids outside with their pants down. LITERALLY. Zeth had his pants down, pooping outside. After hours of ignoring and interrogation, the truth finally came out. Well, it was not Zeth who was pooping, it was Alicia. She did not have an acceptable statement to explain why she pooped. Zeth told me he had his pants down so he could get lots of air. He needed a lot of air. Alicia is constantly lying, she does not get the concept of truth and the need to tell it. She was simply talking about being outside like nothing happened. Yet, we know that Zeth cannot do something like that on his own, he copies what he sees someone doing. I know from experience, that he most likely watched Alicia squat down and poop and he was caught about to do just that.

Alicia thinks she is free and clear of punishment; nothing will happen to her now that she has told the truth. She is unaware that tomorrow when she is at school, I am removing everything from her bedroom. Leaving her with a bed, pillows and clothing. No toys, books or anything else. She must earn things back and that includes her prized possessions. She also will not be allowed outside unless and adult is with her. Zeth can come and go from inside to outside without a chaperon. He was just doing what someone told him to do.

This was a very eventful type of day....yeah right. I did remove the carpeting and carpet pad from the half bathroom. I bought the tile we (OK, I) want to put down. I will post pictures in the next posting. The floor is covered with a vinyl of bricks. Don said he likes it. Yeah right. We shall see. I want to have the bathroom finished this weekend. Especially since Kimberly is planning on coming down with Henry over Labor Day weekend. That is like in no time.

Hurricane Season is Upon Us

Ok so hurricane season is not upon me or my family, but it is upon my friends and family in NY, VA, RI, MA and CT. Of course the hurricane was going to hit Florida, but of course those meteorologists and their ability to predict the weather....I figure that would have been the perfect job. Predict weather, while working for only 30 minutes in the morning and evening as well as a few bits during the day and if I am wrong, Ooops!

I do remember hurricane season. I do miss those predictable storms with the rain and wind. I miss the blizzards that come with the snow and wet and cold. I think I would rather have those instead of this intrepid heat and humidity.

Alicia had an interesting conversation with me in the car after her appointment with her counselor/therapist. She asked if she can call Don and I mom and dad. We had a serious conversation regarding the why. She wants to do this because she needs to feel that she has a mom and dad in her life since she never had a dad and her mom is gone for a long time. I told her we would talk to Don when we got home and discuss this with him. She was vehement about letting Zeth sit in the room while we had the conversation. She did not want him anywhere near her when she talked to us. We agreed with her that it would be OK. I did ask her if she had talked to Dr. L regarding these feelings. Alicia said that he did not have to know everything. I found that rather interesting. She does not talk to him about what is important to her or what is really going through her brain.

Yet again today, Zeth did not have a good day. HE has not earned a sticker yet. Tough time with following directions, staying on task and making good choices.

We began a new was to get through homework with Alicia. OK it is to make it easier for me. We set the timer for 30 minutes. She has 20 pennies in a container. If she finishes her homework in less than 30 minutes, she earns that many minutes in pennies; if she takes longer than 30 minutes, she has to pay us the minutes in pennies. So far she has earned 7 pennies. Lets see how long this can last and if it will work.

reflection

Let us take a moment and reflect on the weekend....

We went to the watermelon festival. Not a great festival this year. We did see other foster parents who were not active in our association. The car show was over, the rides were not great and the other activities had a lot to be desired.

Zeth had a tough time with remaining on task for over 1 hour. He was able to watch the movie but had to wander and fidget for most of the time he watched. If he was not fidgeting, he was moving closer and closer to an adult. Watched Rio with the kids tonight. Earlier he decided to run out the door and help with the trash. of course he ran out the door before asking if he could go out the front door. He spent time in his room-still does not get the idea of consequence.

Alicia has become a cat again. She is going to the level of playing with the cat toys. Can't get past the idea that she can pretend without becoming. I still am going to put limits on the cat thing, i don't mind it as long as she gets homework done, chores, etc. She cannot be a cat without being on all fours, she has not gotten the concept of pretending while walking like a person. I even showed her Halloween costumes of cats that she could wear even after Halloween. It was not happening.

Zeth picked out a knight outfit. The front has a dragon on it. He was impressed because there was a "man" with the child. He just assumed that don would wear a costume as well. that was big discussion in the store while looking at patterns. Mom did not understand the necessity of using the pattern that Alicia picked out and not the recycling the pattern from when I was little. It took a while, but i thinks he got it finally.

Today was an uneventful watermelon festival. The car show was over by 1:oo the rides were not cheap the kids were hot and tired lunch was not great....Each year the festival has gone down hill. There were more tractors than cars and there were not many of those either.

we came home, don mowed the yard, i dusted and entertained the kids.

just a normal Saturday at our house.

TGIF

I can't believe the first week of school is over! Zeth actually made it through today without getting into trouble at school. He did have his moment at drop off. A bit hysterical with the tag with his lunch number-but he made it through the day! that deserves and whoo hoo! Alicia had a good week to, today there were no tears when we got home and she was in a good mood. I think it will take a few more days (maybe a week) to get into the routine and the need to get good sleep.

Don made it home!!! he said he actually learned something at this training on training. He found there is more to excel than he thought. I am happy that he finally found something that interested him at one of these trainings he goes to. This was not just a waste of time. He is home now and that is what matters. I missed him. I know the kids missed him too. Smokey always goes through withdrawal when he is not home, but she is better now.

Tomorrow is the watermelon festival. I am manning the Foster association booth in the morning so we can go back as a family and enjoy the festival. Don is excited to see all the cars. The kids are just excited, they have not been in a number of years (since Teresa was a baby). they went with their mom years ago.

I began filling out all the necessary paperwork for Zeth's testing and IEP. I don't remember having to send this much home to a parent before, but if it will help Zeth I will fill it out and hope it does more than just talking. The IEP preliminary meeting went well. I am glad that I invited Amber. She was very helpful with information that I would not know. I also found out somethings that are very helpful to know. Zeth is a totally different child from when he left Diane's house and went to Christy's. Amber is unsure but something did occur when they were with mom for those few months. Testing is going to occur beginning with hearing and vision. I am guesing he passd those because the paperwork came home today.

The watermelon festival is tomorrow. I am volunteering at the Foster Association booth in the morning. I hope that goes well and without any hiccups. :)

Alicia made a very big decision today. She decided not have a birthday party. she wants a music player/ipod. We discussed the options: a party or a player listing all that would happen with each choice. Party: skate, friends, cake ice cream etc Pick a gift: cake ice cream gift skating at zeth's party and able to skate at other times. She chose the gift. I am very happy she did. Thats because I was very afraid that no one would come to the party. I may send something in to school on Friday-cupcakes. I will ask Alicia and check with her teacher about lunch time or if snack would be better for the class.

It is till the first week of school and still getting the bugs out. Argh! Zeth and Alicia were in wonderful form when we got home today. Did I say wonderful form? I meant complete and utter wrecks. Alicia lost it and could not stop crying for over and hour...Zeth on the other hand enjoyed banging his head when he did not have my undivided attention like he was used to all summer. I have to keep reminding myself he is two years old he is two years old....That is getting old.

We had the IEP meeting for Zeth today. That did shed some light on Zeth from Amber. His traumatic issues all began when he was two and he is now still stuck there and can't move on. Amber and I both agree when he is more verbal he will need to have counseling. It is tough when you don't talk and when you do you are not understood. I also know they will be here for a while. Mom is unable to handle the kids. I figure if she does not give up rights, they were remain until they are aged out of the program. That is not fair to the kids.

Alicia asked to go to the mall and be able to purchase something for her birthday. I gave her two choices for her birthday: !. go to the mall pick out something for her birthday and have cake and ice cream at home 2. have a party at the skate rink. I made it clear she is not having both. My true fear is that we will set up a party and no one from her classroom will come and that will be even more upsetting for her. We are going to have Zeth's party at the rink and she will come if she does not have her party there. That is a hard choice for a child to make.

I went to lowes and figured out the final design for the kitchen. I hope don goes with the choices of counter and cabinet. That way i can start with the process of paying and having someone come out and begin the measuring process. I also want to start packing the kitchen but can't do that until I know when the process is going to start. I added spice racks and also fixed the pantry cabinets to have sliders and shelves. I have lots to add to the garage/yard sale.

I can't believe it is only the third day of school. It feels like it is the 30 day!

Long Day

Today was a long day. Alicia left school exhausted and dehydrated. She just looked like a hot message and was ready for a nap. She came home and had drink and felt better. Zeth did great today not being in school.

I dragged Zeth around all day. First to the YMCA, then Sam's, Walmart home and then to pick up Allie. He held it together all day! We then took Don to pick up his truck so he could head out to Nashville for a training on training. We got home, they ate dinner (nuggets) and watched Paul move the tree from the front of the house.

The kids are in bed-yeah!

Paul and i discussed some of the downfalls that we have with DHR. there are many especially holding information back from the perspective foster parents. that is a big one we are finding. It is not fair to the children not to give all the background possible so we can better work with them when they are in your care.

I had to open my mouth and be stupid==I told amber that Zeth's IEP for speech is tomorrow. I should have said nothing and let it go. But I had to step up and do the right thing. Which is keep DHR in the loop even though they are not giving us all the information but expect us to. I figure I will be his advocate and push for developmental testing especially when he is a two year old in a five year olds body.

we need to work on his maturity and allie's telling lies.

Back to School

Today was a rather difficult day for me. Not the children. this is the first "real" school year that I am feeling the not teaching bug. Someone asked me how I was feeling. I was honest and said bittersweet. I am not teaching and I miss it; the kids were excited about going to school as well as very nervous. I found it very difficult for me when I see all the back to school teacher items and don't buy them. OK I don't need them except for my literal dreams.

Here are the first day of school photos:

Alicia is wearing the outfit of choice. She chose this herself (with some help) The skort is from the second hand place in RI, the shirt is from Ohio. She was very proud of her new hair cut and the outfit. She is still the smallest in her class, but she looks a bit older.

This is Zeth in his official back to school garb. He will be wearing these overalls for quit a while! They are so big on him! Doesn't he look over joyed? He needed the haircut to fix what his sister had done to him previously. He is an official kindergarten student.

Of course he gets in trouble on the first day. He was having a difficult time following directions and wanted to do what he wanted to do and not what the teacher asked. That is pure Zeth though!

I did get to clean out the dry goods pantry and reorganize the crackers, ect. Tomorrow I have to return my "new" cell phone and pick up the soda from Sam's. I am also going to purchase the jungle gym and have it delivered to our house. Yeah!

Catch up

It is time to catch up on the goings on at the Headley House.

I gave up on finding a teaching job in the south. Where ever I went, I was given the cold shoulder, or we are not hiring now, or the best: we will call you when we have an opening-you are on the teacher web site correct? It is just not fair! I am a great teacher and no one down here really gives a crap! I didn't graduate form a southern school I did not grow up in the south and they don't care. I could be the best teacher in the world and they will not ever know

We have officially become foster parents. We completed the GPS classes with Sally and Stephanie at DHR. Finished first aid/cpr and became licensed. We received our first children shortly there after. This occurred in January with the addition of Zeth and Alicia. They are 7 and 5 years old. I can't believe they have been with us that long. There has been many ups and downs with the two of them. The most recent:

They were caught with fish from the koi pond. Alicia's idea. Zeth of course followed. There was much trauma and rules broken: 1. touching something not theirs, 2. going near the pond, 3. telling a lie when caught The three BIG rules in the house. They were grounded yesterday (rooms) and the rest of the week not allowed to play outside. They can go on the porch. I figure with school starting it should not be that hard. Homework and evening routine back on track!

Adonica (Addy) joined us in May. I went with Sally to Huntsville hospital to pick her up when she was 9 days old. She was to be with us until at least January but the system is such a wonderful thing! She was sent back to her mother at her 3 month mark. Her mother is in rehab. The only way to look at this is we gave her a stable beginning and a great start on life. Don said that she can not come back unless her mother has given up her rights and Addy is adoptable. It does make sense. We do not want to play the game of mom going back to the previous ways and then accepting her daughter back.

The issues with Alicia and Zeth are numerous and not fair to the kids. Allie has her ups and downs. Currently we are dealing with the fall out from having a visit with their mother. The koi pond issue, breaking pots on the porch are just a few. Zeth has become a two year old in all sense of the word. If I remember that when I am talking to him then I have a better time with him and I do not get as upset or frustrated. I want to wish his teacher all the luck in the world for this school year.

I have been constantly working on the house. I have met with our great planner at Lowes regarding the kitchen. we have been tweaking the plans for quite a while now. THe money is there, it is just the plan keeps changing a little each teim. Now it is about trying to save a little money where we can. I finished painting the dining room. I also put a rug in front of the fire place there. I painted the half bath a nice blue. Don moved the toilet out of the way and took the sink apart and put it on the shop porch outside. I just have to pick out and purchase a self sticking tile for the bathroom that can be used in there as well as the movie closet. I also have a light fixture for the bathroom. Don gets to put that up as well. I even picked up a new light fixture for the room that Zeth is using.

We put bunkbeds in the smallest bedroom. Zeth is using that room now. Alicia is in the room with the day bed and the guest room is a guest room now that Addy has moved out.

So much more has gone on in the house and our lives, but that is the kid related stuff for now.

Milestones:
Noah Miller had his bar mitzvah!
Gramma Grossman passed away. :(
Kimberly is engaged (sort of) to Henry.
Gail and Adam (and the kids) are moving back to Long Island due to the promotiont that Adam recieved at work.
New septic system in our back yard.
New PC for me! I broke the laptop (yup another one)

Time to play catch up. I first off hate uploading pictures to this site. Especially when they do not go where I want them to.

Catch up time:

Most recently, we had a big wind rain storm and lost a tree. As you can see it is one of the pines that is in front of the house. Don has begun to use the chain saw to take it apart. I figure I will put the kids to work next week after school picking up pine cones.

Hope to post a picture of the kids here: and thyp

Only me!

This is not my day. I just delelted all my posts. Yup. Stupid me.

Much has happened though. We have become official foster parents. We have 2 children currently and had an infant who went home.

The two are grounded for fishing in the pond.

We lost a tree in the front yard. I am putting them to work this week.

School starts monday.

I figure fall out from visiting mom has begun