How the system fails (foster) children

I now understand why the "system" fails children. There are many different reasons that people say, some examples are: returning home to soon, staffing, the lack of listening, supervision or communication. I feel that there is more than just one reason, it is the combination of a few things and the BIG push for reunification with parent(s). When a child is removed from home it is done with good reason whether it is due to neglect, drugs, abuse what ever the case may be...There is a reason for the child's lack of safety. Moving a child(ren) to family or foster care is to provide safe and caring place for the child to live while the parent(s) are going through their detox, court case, etc.

When a case worker communicates with a foster parent there must be complete communication-full and undisclosed information given. The foster parent needs to be aware of what the child has either been exposed to (drugs; alcohol) or not exposed to (neglect) so we are aware of issues the child may have included with the other issues of being removed in the first place.

We had three girls (sisters) in our home from pre-christmas to Monday (2/13). I had been investigated, lied to, disrespected, ignored, yelled at and accused of various things this was all from information the children provided to their father. I can also say I was disrespected by the children's family members that I do not even know. Their father continues to blame me, so he complained to the state about their children's care. The phone calls required the investigation of Don and I-why investigate us? You put the children here for their safety-if you feel that we are not safe GET THEM OUT! Yes, we had to be investigated and were put in a situation of explaining what we feed them (meals), where and how they sleep, how often they shower, computer use, our dogs hurting children (this will occur if you hurt the dog). At that moment I realized a few things:

*foster parents are put through complete hell

*the (biological) parent(s) are more important than the children

*the children/parents are believed before the people caring for them

*if you lie and complain your children will go home

*foster parents have NO rights

*there is no amount of money that will cover the cost of repairs to your home when you have foster children

*reunification is for front even when the parent(s) are continuously demonstrating inappropriate acts and behaviors

*foster parents are under the microscope more than biological parents (who had the children removed from them)

*there is no way of disciplining foster children due to the "system"

I know that there is much more to complain about and discuss regarding how the system is failiing hte children. I have to compete a webinar and then head to an ISP meeting.

Ok Make it Monthly....

I know I vowed to write more frequently, but albeit, I am slow, I procrastinate, I have 7 people in my home that need me (one can hope). OK so I need to be better at posting. I think aobut it daily, I jsut don't seem to be able to sit down and type without someone over my shoulder. Enough excuses!!!
Today starts a new embargo! Not only are Zeth and Alicia taking the bus home, but I will begin to at least post 2-3 times a week! I know I am asking a lot of myself but who else is going to doucment all that I do around here!?

*the girls have all had Dr. Lindsay appointments. I don't know if you can classify counseling as a positive for me when it is not me, but it seems to be something they all need at least 2 sessions of. time will tell if it is something that will be continued when they go home (soon?)

*Allie is back to her nightmares and mommy meltdowns. I think some of it stems from K3 talking to mom and dad during the week. It also stems from K3 scaring the absolute crap out of her almost daily with the boogy man and people in the woods.

*Zeth is showing some very feminine tendencies. Hey he is still only 6 with the mind of a 3-4 year old. I am giving him space to explore and realize that somethings are just not for him. It is hard when he wants to play with the barbie in the bathtub, but hey I let it go and now he has given it to his sister.

*Don was done with the "jail"talk that has been going on. It stems from K1 and trickles down to the remaining K's. Not fair to me! he gave them a talking to yesterday. I have never heard/seen him so angry. He told them that there is another option and that is group home. Where they have no privacy, no personal things, no time to themselves. It will be like jail. But they want to be in jail and that is an option. They are constantly blaming us-not the people who need to be blamed (their parents). Don put that in perspective for them. He made it clear that this was a home where they are allowed to stay, we did not have to let them in and could have said No! which was an option. the K's just don't understand that there should be rules and boundaries. It is going to be difficult when they go home and are removed yet again because their father is unable to provide care when he leaves town for work.

*for my health I have added an extra day of pilates to my sched. I am also adding an extra water aerobics. I am still including weight training, cardio and various other movement. I am also cutting totally back on between meal nibbles, snacks and drinks.