Space the final frontier

Alicia is learning about space. That has been the tag line since she started talking about what she is learning. She does not get it, but it is funny. She just shrugs and moves on with her discussion. Oh those who do not have the chance to watch the original star trek....I do feel for them.

Backing up a few days. Went to court and the ISP that followed for Brianna/Alica/Zeth. I met with Granny (Brianna's grandmother), her case worker at rehab, Amber and of course Brianna. She did not make it to court because they were lost but did get to DHR in pretty good time. We discussed her current treatment. She has a plan in place, I did not hear a lot about the kids in this plan. Amber sensed that as well. Amber asked about the future and where the kids fit in. She stressed that she cannot and will not give them to Brianna and then easily take them back. She continued to stress that they are not the same children that went from Dianna's house back to their mom and then went to Christy. They were broken while with her and it is unknown if they will fully recover. Brinna asked me how I deal with the problems. I of course listed all the issues that the kids are having from speech, to head banging, to tantrums and homework trouble are the easy ones. I did not go into great detail about the daily arguments and annoyances. I made sure she understood that it is not easy and everyday brings a different set of problems to just "roll with".

Brianna expressed that she had trouble just going with the flow. She does not change gears with ease and is fearful of change and blows everything out of proportion. Brianna also expressed that she is not going to be able to move back to the Russellville because she will be int he same situation she left. That is not healthy.

We are having Alicia drama at the moment. She is upset over basically nothing, Zeth is petting Harley and she is having her daily meltdown. She has taken it a step further and is hurting herself by pulling on her face and hitting her self in the head. She gets so frustrated and has a difficult time calming down and also listening to others.

Zeth is spitting in the car-oh joy. He is now screaming that it is only on his hands and then he is just touching the car. There is no spitting in this house or any car ever. He growled at me.

i know they are doing their best to keep it together at school. Alicia just assumes that I will take her side and fix the problem. She expects me to walk into her room and fix it with her now. She is either blaming Zeth or not taking any responsibility for what is going on. She is easily frustrated and does not want to hear anything that does not work with her scheme.

Hurricanes....I miss 'em

Believe it or not I actually miss hurricanes/ I know they come with power outages, rain, wind, damage, flooding and all the havoc of weather. But I really miss them. I am tires of heat, humidity and thunder. My parents now have power. Everyone in VA that I know has something out-whether it is power, water or cable/internet. It will be a matter of time to fix and repair. I know that and am pacient in waiting to get a hold of everyone.

I went on the Marshall web site yesterday to see if there was anything posted about the weather. I was in for a shock! Marshall is no longer and elemetary it is now a ECC and Lori is still principal. In a sense she "lost" her school. That is a slap in the face to a principal. Ad I stand by-what goes around comes around.

Short post-need to discuss the ISP outcome from Brianna and what occurred in court today. Don was at work and unaware of what occured and was discussed in the meeting.

The Drama Llama Came Visiting

A day full of drama. The drama began even before the kids were dressed and ready for school. It began (carried over) from last night. Alicia was upset because Zeth received a compliment and she did not. He needs the positive regarding his clothes and appearance more than she and she was not handsome or even in a very cute outfit. She complained that she could not clean her room before school. When we got to school she complained that I did not give her a good enough hug. The drama!

Well, while they were at school, I removed everything from Alicia's room. No more toys, books, dolls, puzzles, etc. Maybe this will help her to realize that lying is not something that should be done at any time. She has to learn somehow and nothing has worked so far. Maybe not having anything in her room to entertain her will help. She is also not allowed to go outside without adult supervision. Someone has to be with her until we can trust her again. That my not be until she is in high school. It took her over 4 hours to realize that everything was removed from her room. She comes to me with tears and states: "that was not fair" I gave it right back with when you lied to me and Don, you were not fair. The tears were not something that she was feeling, they were faked and done with her pro ability. Within 2 minutes, the tears were gone and she was playing with Zeth.

Zeth has no clue what is going on. I have a meeting for his IEP tomorrow afternoon. I am looking for ward to it in one sense-speech services and in another I don't want him "labeled" but if he is in need of special services, then he needs to receive them.

We had our kitchen measured for the install. It has begun! I can't wait unitl I see the final work up and (Teeth clench) pay lots of money for it to begin. That is what I have been waiting for for so long, I think I am fearful of it not begin all that we want.

Pop a Squat

yup, I have to start off with a Yankee term. I don't know where it originated from, but it is the one thing that works well here today. Don caught the kids outside with their pants down. LITERALLY. Zeth had his pants down, pooping outside. After hours of ignoring and interrogation, the truth finally came out. Well, it was not Zeth who was pooping, it was Alicia. She did not have an acceptable statement to explain why she pooped. Zeth told me he had his pants down so he could get lots of air. He needed a lot of air. Alicia is constantly lying, she does not get the concept of truth and the need to tell it. She was simply talking about being outside like nothing happened. Yet, we know that Zeth cannot do something like that on his own, he copies what he sees someone doing. I know from experience, that he most likely watched Alicia squat down and poop and he was caught about to do just that.

Alicia thinks she is free and clear of punishment; nothing will happen to her now that she has told the truth. She is unaware that tomorrow when she is at school, I am removing everything from her bedroom. Leaving her with a bed, pillows and clothing. No toys, books or anything else. She must earn things back and that includes her prized possessions. She also will not be allowed outside unless and adult is with her. Zeth can come and go from inside to outside without a chaperon. He was just doing what someone told him to do.

This was a very eventful type of day....yeah right. I did remove the carpeting and carpet pad from the half bathroom. I bought the tile we (OK, I) want to put down. I will post pictures in the next posting. The floor is covered with a vinyl of bricks. Don said he likes it. Yeah right. We shall see. I want to have the bathroom finished this weekend. Especially since Kimberly is planning on coming down with Henry over Labor Day weekend. That is like in no time.

Hurricane Season is Upon Us

Ok so hurricane season is not upon me or my family, but it is upon my friends and family in NY, VA, RI, MA and CT. Of course the hurricane was going to hit Florida, but of course those meteorologists and their ability to predict the weather....I figure that would have been the perfect job. Predict weather, while working for only 30 minutes in the morning and evening as well as a few bits during the day and if I am wrong, Ooops!

I do remember hurricane season. I do miss those predictable storms with the rain and wind. I miss the blizzards that come with the snow and wet and cold. I think I would rather have those instead of this intrepid heat and humidity.

Alicia had an interesting conversation with me in the car after her appointment with her counselor/therapist. She asked if she can call Don and I mom and dad. We had a serious conversation regarding the why. She wants to do this because she needs to feel that she has a mom and dad in her life since she never had a dad and her mom is gone for a long time. I told her we would talk to Don when we got home and discuss this with him. She was vehement about letting Zeth sit in the room while we had the conversation. She did not want him anywhere near her when she talked to us. We agreed with her that it would be OK. I did ask her if she had talked to Dr. L regarding these feelings. Alicia said that he did not have to know everything. I found that rather interesting. She does not talk to him about what is important to her or what is really going through her brain.

Yet again today, Zeth did not have a good day. HE has not earned a sticker yet. Tough time with following directions, staying on task and making good choices.

We began a new was to get through homework with Alicia. OK it is to make it easier for me. We set the timer for 30 minutes. She has 20 pennies in a container. If she finishes her homework in less than 30 minutes, she earns that many minutes in pennies; if she takes longer than 30 minutes, she has to pay us the minutes in pennies. So far she has earned 7 pennies. Lets see how long this can last and if it will work.

reflection

Let us take a moment and reflect on the weekend....

We went to the watermelon festival. Not a great festival this year. We did see other foster parents who were not active in our association. The car show was over, the rides were not great and the other activities had a lot to be desired.

Zeth had a tough time with remaining on task for over 1 hour. He was able to watch the movie but had to wander and fidget for most of the time he watched. If he was not fidgeting, he was moving closer and closer to an adult. Watched Rio with the kids tonight. Earlier he decided to run out the door and help with the trash. of course he ran out the door before asking if he could go out the front door. He spent time in his room-still does not get the idea of consequence.

Alicia has become a cat again. She is going to the level of playing with the cat toys. Can't get past the idea that she can pretend without becoming. I still am going to put limits on the cat thing, i don't mind it as long as she gets homework done, chores, etc. She cannot be a cat without being on all fours, she has not gotten the concept of pretending while walking like a person. I even showed her Halloween costumes of cats that she could wear even after Halloween. It was not happening.

Zeth picked out a knight outfit. The front has a dragon on it. He was impressed because there was a "man" with the child. He just assumed that don would wear a costume as well. that was big discussion in the store while looking at patterns. Mom did not understand the necessity of using the pattern that Alicia picked out and not the recycling the pattern from when I was little. It took a while, but i thinks he got it finally.

Today was an uneventful watermelon festival. The car show was over by 1:oo the rides were not cheap the kids were hot and tired lunch was not great....Each year the festival has gone down hill. There were more tractors than cars and there were not many of those either.

we came home, don mowed the yard, i dusted and entertained the kids.

just a normal Saturday at our house.

TGIF

I can't believe the first week of school is over! Zeth actually made it through today without getting into trouble at school. He did have his moment at drop off. A bit hysterical with the tag with his lunch number-but he made it through the day! that deserves and whoo hoo! Alicia had a good week to, today there were no tears when we got home and she was in a good mood. I think it will take a few more days (maybe a week) to get into the routine and the need to get good sleep.

Don made it home!!! he said he actually learned something at this training on training. He found there is more to excel than he thought. I am happy that he finally found something that interested him at one of these trainings he goes to. This was not just a waste of time. He is home now and that is what matters. I missed him. I know the kids missed him too. Smokey always goes through withdrawal when he is not home, but she is better now.

Tomorrow is the watermelon festival. I am manning the Foster association booth in the morning so we can go back as a family and enjoy the festival. Don is excited to see all the cars. The kids are just excited, they have not been in a number of years (since Teresa was a baby). they went with their mom years ago.

I began filling out all the necessary paperwork for Zeth's testing and IEP. I don't remember having to send this much home to a parent before, but if it will help Zeth I will fill it out and hope it does more than just talking. The IEP preliminary meeting went well. I am glad that I invited Amber. She was very helpful with information that I would not know. I also found out somethings that are very helpful to know. Zeth is a totally different child from when he left Diane's house and went to Christy's. Amber is unsure but something did occur when they were with mom for those few months. Testing is going to occur beginning with hearing and vision. I am guesing he passd those because the paperwork came home today.

The watermelon festival is tomorrow. I am volunteering at the Foster Association booth in the morning. I hope that goes well and without any hiccups. :)

Alicia made a very big decision today. She decided not have a birthday party. she wants a music player/ipod. We discussed the options: a party or a player listing all that would happen with each choice. Party: skate, friends, cake ice cream etc Pick a gift: cake ice cream gift skating at zeth's party and able to skate at other times. She chose the gift. I am very happy she did. Thats because I was very afraid that no one would come to the party. I may send something in to school on Friday-cupcakes. I will ask Alicia and check with her teacher about lunch time or if snack would be better for the class.

It is till the first week of school and still getting the bugs out. Argh! Zeth and Alicia were in wonderful form when we got home today. Did I say wonderful form? I meant complete and utter wrecks. Alicia lost it and could not stop crying for over and hour...Zeth on the other hand enjoyed banging his head when he did not have my undivided attention like he was used to all summer. I have to keep reminding myself he is two years old he is two years old....That is getting old.

We had the IEP meeting for Zeth today. That did shed some light on Zeth from Amber. His traumatic issues all began when he was two and he is now still stuck there and can't move on. Amber and I both agree when he is more verbal he will need to have counseling. It is tough when you don't talk and when you do you are not understood. I also know they will be here for a while. Mom is unable to handle the kids. I figure if she does not give up rights, they were remain until they are aged out of the program. That is not fair to the kids.

Alicia asked to go to the mall and be able to purchase something for her birthday. I gave her two choices for her birthday: !. go to the mall pick out something for her birthday and have cake and ice cream at home 2. have a party at the skate rink. I made it clear she is not having both. My true fear is that we will set up a party and no one from her classroom will come and that will be even more upsetting for her. We are going to have Zeth's party at the rink and she will come if she does not have her party there. That is a hard choice for a child to make.

I went to lowes and figured out the final design for the kitchen. I hope don goes with the choices of counter and cabinet. That way i can start with the process of paying and having someone come out and begin the measuring process. I also want to start packing the kitchen but can't do that until I know when the process is going to start. I added spice racks and also fixed the pantry cabinets to have sliders and shelves. I have lots to add to the garage/yard sale.

I can't believe it is only the third day of school. It feels like it is the 30 day!

Long Day

Today was a long day. Alicia left school exhausted and dehydrated. She just looked like a hot message and was ready for a nap. She came home and had drink and felt better. Zeth did great today not being in school.

I dragged Zeth around all day. First to the YMCA, then Sam's, Walmart home and then to pick up Allie. He held it together all day! We then took Don to pick up his truck so he could head out to Nashville for a training on training. We got home, they ate dinner (nuggets) and watched Paul move the tree from the front of the house.

The kids are in bed-yeah!

Paul and i discussed some of the downfalls that we have with DHR. there are many especially holding information back from the perspective foster parents. that is a big one we are finding. It is not fair to the children not to give all the background possible so we can better work with them when they are in your care.

I had to open my mouth and be stupid==I told amber that Zeth's IEP for speech is tomorrow. I should have said nothing and let it go. But I had to step up and do the right thing. Which is keep DHR in the loop even though they are not giving us all the information but expect us to. I figure I will be his advocate and push for developmental testing especially when he is a two year old in a five year olds body.

we need to work on his maturity and allie's telling lies.

Back to School

Today was a rather difficult day for me. Not the children. this is the first "real" school year that I am feeling the not teaching bug. Someone asked me how I was feeling. I was honest and said bittersweet. I am not teaching and I miss it; the kids were excited about going to school as well as very nervous. I found it very difficult for me when I see all the back to school teacher items and don't buy them. OK I don't need them except for my literal dreams.

Here are the first day of school photos:

Alicia is wearing the outfit of choice. She chose this herself (with some help) The skort is from the second hand place in RI, the shirt is from Ohio. She was very proud of her new hair cut and the outfit. She is still the smallest in her class, but she looks a bit older.

This is Zeth in his official back to school garb. He will be wearing these overalls for quit a while! They are so big on him! Doesn't he look over joyed? He needed the haircut to fix what his sister had done to him previously. He is an official kindergarten student.

Of course he gets in trouble on the first day. He was having a difficult time following directions and wanted to do what he wanted to do and not what the teacher asked. That is pure Zeth though!

I did get to clean out the dry goods pantry and reorganize the crackers, ect. Tomorrow I have to return my "new" cell phone and pick up the soda from Sam's. I am also going to purchase the jungle gym and have it delivered to our house. Yeah!

Catch up

It is time to catch up on the goings on at the Headley House.

I gave up on finding a teaching job in the south. Where ever I went, I was given the cold shoulder, or we are not hiring now, or the best: we will call you when we have an opening-you are on the teacher web site correct? It is just not fair! I am a great teacher and no one down here really gives a crap! I didn't graduate form a southern school I did not grow up in the south and they don't care. I could be the best teacher in the world and they will not ever know

We have officially become foster parents. We completed the GPS classes with Sally and Stephanie at DHR. Finished first aid/cpr and became licensed. We received our first children shortly there after. This occurred in January with the addition of Zeth and Alicia. They are 7 and 5 years old. I can't believe they have been with us that long. There has been many ups and downs with the two of them. The most recent:

They were caught with fish from the koi pond. Alicia's idea. Zeth of course followed. There was much trauma and rules broken: 1. touching something not theirs, 2. going near the pond, 3. telling a lie when caught The three BIG rules in the house. They were grounded yesterday (rooms) and the rest of the week not allowed to play outside. They can go on the porch. I figure with school starting it should not be that hard. Homework and evening routine back on track!

Adonica (Addy) joined us in May. I went with Sally to Huntsville hospital to pick her up when she was 9 days old. She was to be with us until at least January but the system is such a wonderful thing! She was sent back to her mother at her 3 month mark. Her mother is in rehab. The only way to look at this is we gave her a stable beginning and a great start on life. Don said that she can not come back unless her mother has given up her rights and Addy is adoptable. It does make sense. We do not want to play the game of mom going back to the previous ways and then accepting her daughter back.

The issues with Alicia and Zeth are numerous and not fair to the kids. Allie has her ups and downs. Currently we are dealing with the fall out from having a visit with their mother. The koi pond issue, breaking pots on the porch are just a few. Zeth has become a two year old in all sense of the word. If I remember that when I am talking to him then I have a better time with him and I do not get as upset or frustrated. I want to wish his teacher all the luck in the world for this school year.

I have been constantly working on the house. I have met with our great planner at Lowes regarding the kitchen. we have been tweaking the plans for quite a while now. THe money is there, it is just the plan keeps changing a little each teim. Now it is about trying to save a little money where we can. I finished painting the dining room. I also put a rug in front of the fire place there. I painted the half bath a nice blue. Don moved the toilet out of the way and took the sink apart and put it on the shop porch outside. I just have to pick out and purchase a self sticking tile for the bathroom that can be used in there as well as the movie closet. I also have a light fixture for the bathroom. Don gets to put that up as well. I even picked up a new light fixture for the room that Zeth is using.

We put bunkbeds in the smallest bedroom. Zeth is using that room now. Alicia is in the room with the day bed and the guest room is a guest room now that Addy has moved out.

So much more has gone on in the house and our lives, but that is the kid related stuff for now.

Milestones:
Noah Miller had his bar mitzvah!
Gramma Grossman passed away. :(
Kimberly is engaged (sort of) to Henry.
Gail and Adam (and the kids) are moving back to Long Island due to the promotiont that Adam recieved at work.
New septic system in our back yard.
New PC for me! I broke the laptop (yup another one)

Time to play catch up. I first off hate uploading pictures to this site. Especially when they do not go where I want them to.

Catch up time:

Most recently, we had a big wind rain storm and lost a tree. As you can see it is one of the pines that is in front of the house. Don has begun to use the chain saw to take it apart. I figure I will put the kids to work next week after school picking up pine cones.

Hope to post a picture of the kids here: and thyp

Only me!

This is not my day. I just delelted all my posts. Yup. Stupid me.

Much has happened though. We have become official foster parents. We have 2 children currently and had an infant who went home.

The two are grounded for fishing in the pond.

We lost a tree in the front yard. I am putting them to work this week.

School starts monday.

I figure fall out from visiting mom has begun